The Crayon Years

I am willing to bet that Stanley Tools is not aware of the nefarious uses of their tools. I actually have a very similar saw to the one in the photo and I almost bought that exact model a few weeks ago. I have a very capable assistant and he can do just about everything I can. An additional saw would allow him to make some delicate cuts that we do not use power tools to make.

Now, I never realized that my tools could be used for other purposes. The playground business is suffering just like the rest of the economy. But, do I really want to start a sideline business in that......????????

Labels: Crime, humor, Tools

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Updated song list for Emily's iPod.

Previous post here.

I am looking at the suggestions. More came in through personal email. Several overlapped on Elvis. I am looking for some of his hymn and gospel work. Yes, also the foundational music. No child left behind... no child should be unaware of the significance of the king's Hound Dog, Love Me Tender, and of course Jailhouse Rock.

I have added 3 songs. Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock It Takes Two, King Harvest's Dancing in the Moonlight, and Exile's Kiss You All Over.

Labels: Emily, humor, Music

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Ask yourself - what are the 3 most important words? In the English language? You have ever heard? That should have been said? That were left out?

Focus on the answer you have in mind.

My Sunday School class did not meet this morning. As we drove home from church, Julie and I asked Emily what she talked about in Sunday School this morning. She resisted the first few probing questions from Julie. Then, with a little more force in the conversation, I demanded that she answer the question. This is her actual verbatim response:

"Treat people the way you want."

Now, for those of you who are not as familiar with the Bible passage it is (Luke 6:31 - Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.). "To be treated" are important words. Leave those 3 words off the statement and it takes on a whole new meaning. Emily took offense when Julie and I started laughing. We teased her for a moment. She then stated the complete quote "Treat people the way you want to be treated."

"To be treated" are important words. What were your thoughts on the 3 most important words?

Labels: Emily, humor, Sunday School

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So, we got Emily an iPod Shuffle for Christmas. The price was far better than I had imagined. I am coveting her gift. I hope to purchase an iPhone soon. I need to be able to answer email while mobile during the day. And I want to listen to music during the day. But, the stores still want money for the iPhone and I am still not willing to give them money. We are at an impasse.

I have enjoyed selecting songs for her iPod. She now has 69 songs on it. I have to admit, I probably have had more fun selecting the songs than she has had listening. The selection is wide. Patsy Cline to RunDMC to Beatles to Linkin Park to MercyMe to Journey to Willie Nelson. I absolutely am a fan of only paying for the songs I like. Honestly, Van Halen's 1984 was the last album I remember buying and liking almost every song. The soundtrack for Oh Brother, Where Art Thou is about the same. But a soundtrack is a collection of various artists offering a good song. It is the equivalent of a mix tape.

I am inviting suggestions. Here are the rules:

#1 - The songs have to be suitable for a 6-year-old girl being raised by 2 normal adults who love her and want her to enjoy music.

#2 - Be creative.

#3 - If possible, the song should be available on iTunes. If not, we will have to wait and see.

Just respond in the comments section.

UPDATE
These are the songs on Emily's iPod so far:

Alvin & the Chipmunks - Witch Doctor
Blondie - Call Me
Bon Jovi - Who Says You Can’t Go Home
Breathe - Hands To Heaven
The Church - Under The Milky Way
Elvis Costello - Every Day I Write The Book
Gary Wright - Love Is Alive, Dream Weaver
Gladys Knight & The Pips - Midnight Train To Georgia
John Lennon - Imagine
Jon Secada - Just Another Day, Do You Believe In Us, I’m Free
Kenny G - Forever In Love
Kim Carnes - Bette Davis Eyes
Kiss - Beth
Linkin Park - In The End
Los Lonely Boys - Heaven
Madagascar The Movie - I Like To Move It
Meatloaf - I’d Do Anything For Love
MercyMe - I Can Only Imagine
Modern English - I Melt With You
The Motels - Suddenly Last Summer
Nazareth - Love Hurts
Nena - 99 Luftballons (English Version)
Nitty Gritty Dirt Band - Fishin In The Dark
Orleans - Dance With Me
Pat Benatar - Love Is A Battlefield
Patsy Cline - Crazy, I Fall To Pieces
Paul McCartney - Band On The Run, Uncle Albert, Jet
Percy Sledge - When A Man Loves A Woman
The Proclaimers, - 500 Miles
Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Love Rollercoaster
The Rolling Stones - Ruby Tuesday
Run-DMC - It’s Tricky, King Of Rock, It’s Like That
Rush - Freewill, Tom Sawyer, New World Man
Saving Jane - Girl Next Door
Soft Cell - Tainted Love
Stevie Nicks - Stand Back, Edge Of Seventeen, Leather And Lace, Has Anyone Ever Written Anything For You
Sugar Hill Gang - Rappers Delight
Taylor Swift - Love Story
Three Dog Night - Joy To The World
Tommy Tutone - 867-5309 / Jenny
U2 - With Or Without You
Van Halen - Jump
Van Morrison - Brown Eyed Girl, Domino, Moondance, A Whiter Shade Of Pale
Will Smith - Getting Jiggy With It, Men In Black
Willie Nelson - Mammas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To…, Pancho And Lefty, Blues Eyes Crying In The Rain, My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys, Always On My Mind
Willie Nelson & Ray Charles - Seven Spanish Angels
Wings - Silly Love Songs

Labels: Emily, humor, Music, Parenting

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Today is the wife's birthday. As the kids were getting up this morning, I decided that for her birthday we would go as a family to breakfast. Had a wonderful time at the IHOP.

However, like her mother, our daughter Emily is slow to get going in the morning. Keith and I had some time to kill. One of us decided to eat chocolate pudding for breakfast. From the photograph in this post, you should be able to tell which one...

Labels: humor, Julie, Keith

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To me, this is hilarious.

My daughter's leg was stuck in the playground equipment at school today. According to her teacher, Emily is not the first child to have her leg caught in the equipment. The staff had to apply lotion to her leg to get it out. According to Emily, it did not hurt until Ms. Eva tried to pull her leg out. According to Ms. Wyn, Emily's leg came out much easier than the other child.

I called to tell them that I would inspect and correct the equipment. It was hard not to laugh during the phone call.

Of all the kids to have their leg stuck in the playground equipment, it would have to be the child whose father owns a playground construction company.

Labels: humor, playground maintenance

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Wed Aug 29, 5:51 PM

NEW YORK - Something was different about newborn Jeshuah Fuller, but his proud parents couldn't quite put their finger on it.

Then his doctors, always on their toes, figured it out: Jeshuah was born with a few extra digits _ six fingers on each hand, six toes on each foot.

Jeshuah, born in Brooklyn on Tuesday, is healthy and weighs just over 7 pounds. His rare condition, called polydactylism, is usually genetic. His dad was born with an extra finger on his left hand.

Jeshuah's mom, Quana Morris, said she'd had an ultrasound image taken during her pregnancy and knew he'd have extra fingers.

"We were counting them on the sonogram," she told the Daily News.

The extra toes, though, were a surprise.

Jeshuah is getting a hand from his doctors to deal with the bonus digits, which are outside the pinkies and little toes and serve no purpose. He'll have them surgically removed in a couple of weeks, his mom said.

I am making a prediction. The last words Jeshuah will hear before dying a violent death will be - Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Labels: humor, Princess Bride

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1 Junior Mint to 4 Reese's Pieces.

I stand by that claim. Feel free to find you own perfect ratio. For me, 1 to 4 is perfect.

Labels: humor

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